Hello, Kitty!
by Scented Candles
Summary: Aoshi is anal retentive and cold, but then the Fates finally decides to step in and teach him a lesson about love, feelings, compassion and humanity…by TURNING HIM INTO A CAT! AoshiKaoru, some KenshinKaoru fluff on the side, SanoMegumi, SoujiroMisao


**Hello, Kitty!**

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

* * *

Aoshi is anal retentive and cold, but then the Fates finally decides to step in and teach him a lesson about love, feelings, compassion and humanity…by TURNING HIM INTO A CAT?! Aoshi/Kaoru, some Kenshin/Kaoru fluff on the side, Sano/Megumi, Soujiro/Misao

* * *

**A/N: **This will hopefully be a marriage of humor, angst, drama and romance…but mostly humor, I hope, because most A/K fics deal more in angst (but this one will have angst too). I was craving some Aoshi/Kaoru and couldn't resist the image of Aoshi as a cat! This is set in AU and Aoshi and Kaoru might be or will be OOC. Also, Aoshi and Kaoru will be cousins, but _DISTANT _cousins. As in way, way distant, like fourth or fifth or sixth cousins. So technically they're not really cousins at all, just share the same distant ancestors years and years ago.

* * *

**Aoshi: **17, **Megumi: **23, **Kaoru: **17, **Misao: **4, **Soujiro: **7, **Kenshin: **19, **Sano: **18

* * *

**Chapter One:**

Aoshi parried her thrust and turned his bokken with a graceful twist of his wrist, turning his body with swift precise movements and ending it with a tap on her left shoulder.

Aoshi heard a sharp intake of breath as well as a grunt before his opponent crumpled on the floor before him, a hand clutching the injured shoulder.

Aoshi tilted his head to the side, rested the tip of his bokken on his shoulder and watched as his foe struggled.

Pathetic.

It hadn't even been an exceptionally hard blow. There was no reason for such a reaction…but then again his opponent _was weak._ If it hadn't been for family obligation, he would never have deigned to lower himself as to spar with someone so obviously lacking in strength and talent.

He even had to use a stupid _bokken _for goodness sake!

He, who knew the art of swords and had always, _always _used the real thing instead of a make believe toy such as he was holding now.

It would have been fine if the match had proven a challenge for his skills, but what he was doing now was sure to dull his reflexes.

He always had to hold back, moving slower than he was accustomed to in fights, just so his opponent would have a minuscule chance against him.

He snorted inwardly, yeah right.

His blue eyes narrowed but he held on to the exasperated sigh that itched to escape him. "Are you finally ready to accept your defeat?" he drawled in a bored voice.

Kaoru's hand tightened around the handle of her bokken, wincing as the movement shifted the muscles in her shoulder. She felt so battered and bruised already and she knew that he was holding back and only toying with her.

Tears of frustration gathered in her eyes but she held them in, not wanting to appear even weaker.

She struggled to her feet and got into the ready position even though her shoulder was paining her excessively, there was no way she would let him see that.

He would pounce on her weakness like he always had.

"Are you a masochist?"

Kaoru's left eye twitched in irritation at his question but she refused to be baited into rushing her attack.

"Or perhaps you're just stupid…?"

Kaoru's blue eyes narrowed and clashed with Aoshi's ice blue ones.

"Why don't you just give up now and save yourself more pain? No matter what you do, you know you'll never win…you're _weak_."

"Arrogant asshole!" Kaoru gritted out, her whole body itching to pounce on him and crack his skull.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it? How disgraceful, are you sure you weren't adopted? I can't believe I share the same ancestry with some weakling like yourself! To think I find myself betrothed to such a weakling."

Her temper igniting to full force, Kaoru's eyes blazed an unholy blue flame as she sprang to attack him. "As if I even want to marry you, you insufferable prick!" was her battle cry.

Aoshi was taken by surprise at the strength and power behind her blows, he even grudgingly admitted that she swung even harder than some one his other male opponents had.

However, she was still no match for him and he ended the fight with a smooth twist of his body to avoid her jab at his solar plexus, using his own bokken to tap hers down.

The momentum of her attempted jab at him pulled her forward, her arms extended and pointed down and her torso unguarded.

He extended his left foot in a 45-degree angle kick aimed at her midsection.

It threw her back several paces before she sprawled on the ground in a heap.

He'd added a little bit more force into that kick and as was expected, she didn't get up this time.

* * *

Kaoru lay down on the wooden floor of the dojo, breathing hard, her body numb from impact of his last, felling blow. She forced herself to get up but her muscles refused to obey as her midsection contracted painfully in response to the recent attack it had received.

The worst part was that she knew it wasn't even half of his strength.

"Stupid, arrogant prick!" she muttered in a groan as she closed her eyes and breathed in harsh pants.

Aoshi's footsteps receded and she heard the door of the dojo slide open before it closed once more.

"Damn I hate that asshole…" she mused as she raised one hand and threw her arm over her eye. She felt so tired, like every other time after their sparring match. Kaoru had to admit he was a damn fantastic fighter.

It wasn't that she was bad, she was actually a lot stronger than most males and could defeat a lot of them.

It was just that Aoshi was too damn strong.

"And the asshole knows it too."

The sound of the door sliding open again, a small stumble and feet running over to where she lay prone on the floor. Kaoru found herself staring at a small face framed with dark jet-black hair. Concerned blue eyes peered down at her. "Oneesan, oneesan daijoubu des?"

"Hai…daijoubu des, Sou-chan."

Soujiro had seen his sister in this position a lot of times, especially after a sparring match with Aoshi-san and he knew better than to try and pull her to a sitting position.

Instead, he sat down and crossed his legs, opting to keep his neesan company until she was strong enough to move. "Neh, oneesan…" he whispered as he played with a lock of her hair, trying to comfort her.

"Nanda?"

"I don't like Aoshi-san."

Kaoru beamed at him. "Join the club."

Soujiro smiled.

"How'd you know I was here?" Kaoru asked her seven-year-old brother.

"You mean aside from the grunts of pain coming in this direction?"

"Hey, I gave as good as I got!" Kaoru muttered. _At least I tried, but the stupid ass just wouldn't stand still!_

"And yet he walks while you are here," Soujiro pointed out.

"Anyone ever tell you, you talk funny?"

Soujiro continued to smile.

Kaoru sighed and tried to prop herself up by her elbows only to groan and drop back down again.

Something flickered in the depths of Soujiro's clear blue eyes, "He hurt you real bad this time, huh?" he asked in a pleasant voice.

Kaoru knew her brother was getting angry. The boy seldom got mad, not even when he was bullied or hit by the other kids at his school because he was so small.

_Stupid boys, if it weren't against the law I'd behead the whole lot of them! They're just jealous 'coz my brother's so much cuter than they are! Ha! _

Soujiro only got angry when he felt that someone he loved was being threatened or hurt or when he felt that some injustice was being done. Soujiro and their father, Koshijiro, were alike in that aspect. Kaoru only knew two times when Soujiro got angry enough to be violent. The first one was the incident with the dog.

Kaoru remember Soujiro launching himself at some fifth grader who was being mean to a dog by the street. They had seen it from across the street and before Kaoru could do anything, Soujiro was off, running towards the boy. Kaoru had tried to grab him by the arm to stop him before he attacked but Sano had held her back and told her not to interfere in a man's fight.

Even now, Kaoru still did not understand why she didn't stop the fight; only that something in her told her to obey Sano for once.

Soujiro had gotten beaten up, he was only six and the boy he was fighting was not only older but much bigger than he was. His left eye was swollen and he had a split lip and bruises on his arms. The older boy was worse off though and Kaoru felt guilty for feeling so proud of her brother when the other boy was so obviously in pain.

It was then that Sano finally allowed Kaoru to cross the street and head for her brother, the older boy running away at her and Sano's approach.

Soujiro had been crouched by the dog stroking its fur and trying to give it some comfort.

The dog turned out to be very sick and wounded.

They had taken it to the vet who had told them that the dog most likely had been a victim of a hit and run accident a few days ago. There was too much damage and the help had arrived a little too late.

There was nothing more for them to do that put the dog to sleep.

Kaoru had glanced down at Soujiro, afraid her brother would launch himself at the doctor too but he only smiled and asked if they could bring it home. Soujiro had stayed by the dog's side, stroking its fur, until it died.

Soujiro had buried it in their backyard.

That had been a year ago, before everything changed and they found themselves living miles away from home in a place they were unfamiliar with.

Kaoru didn't even want to think about what happened that night when Soujiro lost control of his anger for the second time in his life.

The memory still chilled her.

Kaoru didn't want him going off the deep end right now so she reached out a hand and patted his comfortingly. "I'm fine, it's good for my training. Father would have wanted it."

"I don't like it here in Kyoto at all," he confessed. "I want to go back home to Tokyo..."

"Yeah," she agreed as reached out a hand to ruffle his hair. "Me too."

* * *

Megumi got home to find Aoshi sitting in the kitchen having an apple while he flipped through his textbook. He had sliced the apple in precise, uniform pieces and laid them down neatly in a platter.

Megumi rolled her eyes at him and headed for the refrigerator, taking out the carton of low fat milk and crabbing a glass from the cabinet. "Did Kaoru go home already?"

"How should I know?"

WHAM!

Aoshi glared at his oneesan as he rubbed the back of his head. "What was that for?" he growled out at her.

"She's you're fiancée! Do'aho, it's your job to take care of her!" Megumi hollered at him. Kami-sama, why was her little brother such a pain?

If they didn't share the same astonishing good looks she'd have had doubts about his true parentage.

Aoshi blinked as his older sister suddenly went off laughing. He could have sworn he saw kitsune ears pop up from her head. "Weirdo…" he muttered under his breath as he concentrated on reading once more.

"Why you…!"

WHAM!

"Would you stop that!" he demanded angrily.

"Treat your oneesan with respect, Do'aho!" Megumi said haughtily. "Don't you have any manners?"

"I only respect those who are worthy."

Megumi rolled her eyes and poured herself a glass of milk. "Well that just eliminates the entire world doesn't it, since in your view you're the only one who is ever good enough!" she huffed.

Aoshi nodded, "Exactly," he said.

"You're joking, right?"

"Of course I am," Aoshi muttered, finally giving in to the urge to roll his eyes. Megumi was already twenty-three but acted much too childish.

He often reminded her to conduct herself like a proper lady worthy of their name but Megumi always called him a "'tight-ass', and not in a good way", every time he did.

He had just given up and chalked up her behavior as a glitch in the gene pool.

"So, did the two of you practice sparring today?" Megumi asked after a moment of silence.

A small nod.

"Good." Megumi said with a nod. "You know, you should be nicer to her, or she just might not accept the betrothal."

"Who said I wanted to marry her anyway?"

Megumi sighed, "Why did you say yes when father asked you?"

"It's tradition," Aoshi said with a shrug. "Although, she is weak, her family is still allied to ours and both families have been linked through marriage through the years."

"So? Geeze, you're such a weirdo. What century do you think we're in baka? This is not the Feudal Era."

Aoshi sighed, "You wouldn't understand. I'm the last male heir, it's my responsibility to our lineage."

"So you're going to trap yourself in a marriage you don't want just because of that?"

A shrug.

"What about Kaoru? Did you ever think about her feelings?"

"She accepted didn't she? That's her problem. Not mine."

Megumi studied her brother's profile for a long time. "Dad sure did a number on you, didn't he? And he knew just the right buttons to push too…"

"You don't know what you're talking about. He taught me about honor and pride for our lineage. He taught me how to uphold our family history, don't you even feel a little sense of pride for our ancestors?"

Megumi could tell he was angry with her. It was always such a touchy topic between the two of them. "Sure, I have pride in our name, but that doesn't mean I'll follow the rules set up by old dead people who don't even know me."

"You disobeyed father and tried to escape from our heritage. Look where it got you."

"At least I was happy, even for a little while," Megumi said as she felt true anger spark inside her. "You have no right to throw that in my face Aoshi. Jason Takani made me happy. You don't understand anything. I refuse to sacrifice my happiness just so our bloodline would remain pure!"

Aoshi averted his gaze from Megumi, feeling guilt gnaw at his stomach. He should have known better than to throw something so hurtful at his sister. It wasn't her fault her husband died.

Megumi saw the flash of guilt and contrition in her brother's eyes and recognized it as the apology he would never utter. She sighed and felt her anger recede. Megumi closed her eyes and dipped her head down, her long bangs coming down to obscure her face. As usual, her strange sense of humor not came to add some levity at such an inopportune time.

_Kami, I feel like I'm in a soap opera! I wonder how Aoshi would react if I giggled? He'd probably throttle me…or worse, he'll stomp off in a hissy fit! _

"Why are you laughing?" Aoshi demanded of his sister when he noticed that slight shaking of her shoulders hadn't been due to her sobbing, as he'd feared but was actually because she was laughing.

Megumi laughed louder and lifted her gaze to him, her blue eyes twinkling. She hugged him, pressing a kiss at his temple. "You're still young…I hope you know what you're doing…" she said before she left the kitchen to head for her room.

_It's just an engagement after all…they're still in school both he and Kaoru don't have to decide until they are of legal age to marry. Hopefully by then, their insanity would have left._

* * *

Kaoru sighed ad she inserted the key into the lock and opened the door to the apartment she shared with Soujiro, "Do you mind if we just order take out? I'm too tired to even attempt to cook."

"Alright!" Soujiro said eagerly, as he ran for the phone.

Kaoru ignored that action and all that it implied, choosing instead to collapse on the sofa and sigh.

"Neh oneesan, what do you want? Pizza? Chinese? Italian?" Soujiro asked as he plopped down on the couch by her head and showed her the different take-out menus they had.

"You choose…whatever's fine with me," Kaoru said with a smile.

"Pizza then!"

"Just as long as you eat some fruit after and then drink milk before bedtime."

"Hai, hai," Soujiro nodded before dialing.

Kaoru closed her eyes. Her body still hurt. It didn't help that they had to ride a bus and she'd been jostled around, not to mention _groped_ and add to that the miles she and Soujiro had to walk to get to the apartment from the bus stop.

Megumi had invited them to come stay at the main house with her but Kaoru had declined. That house was too big and too stifling, not to mention that Aoshi was there most of the time.

Aoshi, the name brought a snarl out of her lips.

Her body was slightly battered but it didn't compare to the condition of her pride.

He wasn't even sweating when he'd defeated her.

He'd looked _bored_!

He'd called her _weak_!

It was a disgrace that he had to marry her!

Ha!

It wasn't as if she was slaying chickens in offering to thank the gods for her good fortune either!

Who'd want to be married to an emotionless asshole?

Kami, if she'd only known ahead of time…

"You okay neesan?"

Kaoru blinked, "Oh, yeah, you bet."

Soujiro smiled.

"Go and do your homework while we wait for the food okay?"

"I'll set the table first. Didn't you tell me you had a paper due tomorrow? Did you already finish it?"

Kaoru groaned as she heaved herself off of the coach. "Darn, I almost forgot. Thanks…" she said as she headed to get her laptop from her room.

* * *

"Aoshi-sama!" the small girl cried out as she jumped from the lap of the old lady who was braiding her hair and attached herself instead on Aoshi's right pant leg. "Aoshi-sama, Misao did lots of things today! Misao went to the park and she found lots of flowers!"

Aoshi nodded and placed his hand on top of the girl's head. "That's good Misao."

The old woman, stood up from the sofa and bowed to him, "Shinomori-san, I trust your family is well?"

Aoshi nodded. "Thank you for taking care of Misao."

"It's no problem! She's such a pleasant girl, so full of life. I rarely get to see my grandchildren any more and it's nice for these old bones to have company."

Aoshi nodded and looked down at Misao, "Go get your things."

Misao rushed to get her pink Barbie backpack that was almost as big as her. "I'm ready to go Aoshi-sama!" she announced.

Aoshi bowed to the old lady once more, "Arigato Sayuri-san. Let's go Misao," he said before he turned to leave.

"Bye-bye Sayuri-chan!" Misao said, giving the old lady a hug before running off to catch up with Aoshi.

Sayuri smiled as she watched the two of them leave. Even from afar she could still hear Misao's constant chatter and Aoshi's occasional one syllable response.

They were good for each other…but Misao alone would not be enough.

"That boy needs a girlfriend…ah, if only I was a few years younger. Never mind, I _do _have a granddaughter that would be perfect for him," Sayuri said as she closed the door and headed for the telephone.

* * *

Three figures sat around the a cluster of sofas in the lobby of the apartment building; a small child wearing a pretty peach dress, a teen-ager clad in jeans and a tank-top and a young woman wearing a light cream colored sheath dress.

All three were watched as a seventeen-year-old passed by, a small child following in his wake; the child was burdened by a large pink bag but she did not seem to mind as she chattered non-stop as she skipped after her silent companion.

Both disappeared inside an elevator.

Kokka, the teenager, tapped a finger on her chin. "Aoshi is too silent…if he weren't breathing, you'd think he's dead!"

"He's not so bad, he's redeemable. We already established that, didn't we?" the young woman, Sakiyuki said. "Besides, his ancestors requested this small favor of us, how can we deny them?"

"We can't," Kokka said as she popped her gum.

Sakiyuki winced, "So undignified."

Kokka rolled her eyes, "Whatever. It's going to be hard help Aoshi see the error of his ways." Kokka pointed out.

"He has to. He will live a very sad life if he persists as such," Sakiyuki informed them. She was the entity that represented that future and she saw all that was to be.

The child Kiou, sighed, "He has always been that way. His principles are strong and honorable but his interpretation of them needs a little work. You cannot blame only him entirely. Humans grow through experience and teachings. They do not just spring fully grown from the top of their father's head like Athena."

"Humph, that is still no excuse if you ask me," Kokka, the lady of the present time, huffed. "He is far too unfeeling!" She saw a girl walk past with hot pink sunglasses on.

Kokkaopened her hand and called one exactly like it. It appeared in her hand and she slipped it on. "How do I look?" she asked with a grin.

"Now is not the time Kokka," Sakiyuki warned.

"Aoshi is not entirely, that's why we agreed to help remember? He is not beyond our help. You forget his care for his sister and the little girl," Kiou pointed out.

"You know you find him cute Kokka," Sakiyuki added. "Admit it."

"I do not!" Kokka protested vehemently.

"Don't pretend. My eyes are all seeing, remember?"

"That's because you peek into things that are yet to be!" Kokka accused.

Sakiyuki shrugged. "I'm the future, that's what I'm supposed to do."

"I distinctly remember you commenting how cute his little bottom is, Kokka." Kiou reminded her sister, "And don't deny it, I'm the past and I hold all memories."

"He was just a baby then!" Kokka groaned. "But fine, for a human, he is quite acceptable in the looks department."

Kiou giggled, and Sakiyuki chuckled.

"You know, we digress from the topic," Kokka muttered.

Sakiyuki was the first to control her self. "You're right, gomen. As I've said to his ancestors, the road to his future is too diverse to glimpse. He is at a point in time in his life when the choices he will be making will affect the rest of his life. Now since I agree with Kiou that Aoshi is not exactly a bad person, only _misguided_, I believe we should help him understand the error of his ways."

"Wouldn't that be tempting the anger of Shukuen?" Kokka asked a little apprehensive. (Shukuen – Destiny or Karma)

Sakiyuki shook her head, "Not exactly. You forget that there is no set destiny; there are always alternate routes. It is the choices that the humans make, that shape their future. That is why I believe we must act now. If he persists in the path he is in..."

"So what do we do?" Kiou asked.

Sakiyuki smiled, "I've already spokenwith Shukuen. He has given his permission to us, but there is a time limit to the spell."

"What do you have planned Sakiyuki?" Kiou asked, her eyes large as she waited for her sister to unveil her scheme.

Sakiyuki smiled, "Two things actually. We will try the first plan and if it does not work…then we'll have to take stronger measures to help him learn his lessons…"

"So what is your first plan?"

"Ever heard of A Christmas Carol?"

"Huh?" Kokka asked.

Kiou grinned, "I remember that book! It's by Charles Dickens. I think it's a great idea!"

"I still don't understand what you guys are talking about…" Kokka said.

Sakiyuki sighed, "Do you know who Scrooge is?"

"Of course I do! He's Donald Duck's rich uncle."

Sakiyuki groaned as Kiou giggled.

"What?!" Kokka asked, annoyed.

* * *

**A/N: **So, did you enjoy? I know, I know…I already have too many fics going as it is…but I couldn't help it! I'm not very satisfied with this chapter but it's an introduction to Aoshi, Kaoru and the other character's role in their lives. I hope you enjoyed it and I promise it does get better (I hope) and funnier (I hope) as the story progresses.

Aoshi will most likely be turning into a cat in the next chapter or the one after that. So did you like it? Please review and tell me if you think this idea is worth pursuing or not! Thanks!

**A Christmas Carol: **It's a book by Charles Dickens, the one with the ghost of the Past, Present and Future.

**Scrooge:** He's the rich guy in the story who gets visited by the ghosts.

**Kiou**: The past

**Shukuen: **karma, fate, destiny

**Kokka:** the present

**Sakiyuki:** the future

**Unmei: **Fate

**Do'Aho: **Idiot, stupid, kind of like baka...

Please REVIEW and tell me what you thought of this. Do you want me to work onthis or forgo it for my other fics…I know I already have too many on the works but…oh well, your thoughts please!

Please review!


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